One of the most difficult quests in any kind of relationship with people is to deal with a real person, not with the games of your imagination. It’s awesome hard and incredibly efficient at the same time.
First, when you clearly understand who you are dealing with, you get rid of baseless expectations. In a sense, you know quite well what kind of person he is, what he is capable of, and what he is absolutely not capable of. You don’t expect the chicken to start laying golden eggs, Veronica will come on a date on time, and Nikita will start going to the gym more than once a month. You are by default prepared to interact with these people.
Secondly, you stop confusing your desires with the desires of a person. You do not drag your half to a romantic comedy, knowing that she prefers horrors.
Thirdly, the stronger your idea of a person coincides with reality, the fewer mysteries and unpleasant surprises in your relationship with him. You know that he is delayed, because today Manchester is playing with Chelsea, and you don’t guess at the likes of which bitch he is cheating on you this time. Do you remember that in the evening she has a training device.
To comprehend Zen, just take your head out of your ass. When you go to someone — think first about him, and then — about yourself.